Doddy!

Chris Dodd is endorsing Barack. In other news... McCain is still a cheater, Hillary says shes ready on foreign ploicy, and Mike Huckabee has googly eyes and scares the sh*t out of me. I feel like if I met him in real life he would try to burn me at the stake and damn me to hell because I like the homosexuals designing my clothes.

Also, this weather is just terrible. Every single day its the same thing over and over - cold, wet, and windy. I'm sick of it. It needs to warm up and stop raining/snowing/whatevering. Also also, SIU, why are the flags at half staff almost every day? I think someone is just getting lazy, because I know that not that many super important people are dying every single day. Seeing the flags at half staff puts a real downer on everyones day. I don't need that kind of anxiety in my life right now.

One more important note: The Tudors is the most crazy awesome show. I f*cking love it. All they do is have sex and yell and throw letters into fires and then have sex again. Basic premise of one episide: Henry VIII has sex with a lady in waiting, reads about Martin Luther and writes him a letter, has sex with more ladies in waiting, France, more sex, gets a letter back from Martin Luther, yells about it and throws it into a fire, sex, jousting, sex, throw a chair, Anne Boyln, sex.

Ralphie!

Yep. Ralph Nader. Running for president. I. Love. This. Race. It's like wine - it gets better as time passes. Also, too much of it will make you laugh at the most unfunny of jokes. I know this for a fact.

Wisconsin and Hawaii, You Have Officially Been Baracked

Welcome to the ever expanding club. Hillary is going to have to win big in Texas and Ohio if she is going to stay in this thing. So... that was the exciting news from yesterday....

The Office comes back April 10th, in case anyone is interested. Also, they are starting the 526th season of Americans Next Top Model and Dancing With the Stars. Really, America? You haven't grown tired of all of this yet?

I Really Have Nothing to Say of Any Importance

Tonight I'm going to a trivia night, where I will miss Big Jessica and her plether of useless knowledge. I will try to channel you, tonight, Jessica. If we win anything, I will be sure to let all of my reader know. I forgot to pay my parking ticket at SIU within 10 days. Let's see what happens. I would have paid it, but the part of the website where you can pay online isn't working. Just another reason to hate SIU/parking services, as if we didn't have enough reasons already.

P.S. I took my BOHB test today, and I'm pretty sure I got at least a B. It was good times. Also, we get candy from Jen on test days so... double bonus.

Superdelegates Are Apparently Equivilent To Villians

At least that's what I've been gathering from watching the news. CNN is going bat-shit crazy over this superdelegate stuff - it's going to be the downfall of the democratic party, and the republicans will return to the party of Lincoln, not the party of Reagan. Also, Pluto will explode and Mitt Romney will shit gold. Calm the f*ck down, CNN! Let's just take this one day at a time, okay?

In other news...

FEMA still sucks at life, even two and a half years later. Apparently the trailers they moved a shit ton of people into down in New O'leans are riddled with formaldehyde, soo.... everybody out! Where will you live? We don't know! Nice, guys.

Let's see what Fox News thinks is important, shall we? I've been really liking to go to their website lately just to see what they put on the front page....

What we've got is - manhunt for a butcher. Apparently someone took a meat cleaver and killed this psychiatrist lady in her office. Creepy. What else... Hezbollah Declares: LetThis War Be Open . Okay. Also some stuff about Miley Cyrus that I don't care about.

That's all I've got for now. Unhappy Valentines day to all those happy people out there - I will be celebrating by eating dinner at Applebees (because I'm classy like that), then watching LOST and Die Hard. Too bad I have a test in the morning that is going to be the death of me.

The Potomac Primaries Have Been Baracked

Will it ever get old? I don't think so. DC, Maryland, and Virginia, all to Barack - and by pretty large margins, too. 75% in DC, 60% in Maryland and 64% in Virginia. Go cry, Hillary, we know you are capable. Right now I am watching Andy report on it, along with a lot of "political strategists". I think that that is what I will choose for my career, or at least it's an option. I also want to be a superdelegate. Do you get paid for that shit? Let's ask Bill Clinton

They just showed a clip of McCain... someone was helping him up the stairs. HELPING HIM UP THE STAIRS. fuck. Also, Mike Huckabee still scares the crap out of me. Give it up already. Jesus. Not you, though, Ron Paul. Don't ever quit. Ever.

Also, I can't stop eating these peanut butter M&Ms. They are too delish. Also, CNN, stop trying to make your shows technologically savvy. No more touch screens, no more cardboard pieces that magically make pie charts. Just show me a fucking picture of a bar graph.

Maine = Baracked

Happy Birthday to me

Washington, Nebraska, Louisiana - Baracked

Was there any doubt? Kitty Robin Sparkles says no - she is sitting on my lap, watching CNN with me. They are discussing Mike Huckabee, and we know how I feel about that. O look, a superhero! Oh, wait, thats Mittens. Aw, Mittens, we miss you.

Not much else going on in the political world that I really care about. Other news: I need to find a new job, because Cold Stone is wearing on my last nerve. Woo! Also, Happy Birthday to me and Robert Wagner.

I Feel The Need To Post Something

I'm currently wasting my time, watch the Ballot Bowl on CNN. Still doesn't measure up to the Puppy Bowl, but whatevs. There are some primaries and caucuses today. Huckabee is taking Kansas. Remember that time I hated Mike Huckabee? Ugh. Stop putting 500 American flags in the background of your speeches. It's overkill. Also, apparently McCain is "reaching out" to Romney to unite the Republican party. Whatever.

Mike Huckabee, did u just relate freedom to an airplane? Stop it. And pick better ties, dammit.

Alright, that is all I have to say for today. I'm going to go take a shower and prepare to eat entirely too much food for my own good. Mmm, steak....

2 posts, 1 day = Exciting Politics

R.I.P Romney campaign :(

Guess Mittens won't be president any time soon.

John McCain Makes My Skin Crawl... and Other Fun Stories

Dear Grandpa McCain,
Stop it. Conservatives abound seem to hate you, and yet they vote for you. Glenn Beck hates you, and thats all that counts in my book (my books title: Glenn Beck, Sometimes You Have Valid Points Even Though You Are Conservative). Because I like to get my facts straight, I Wikipedia'd you, Senator, and have compiled a list (<3 lists) of reasons as to why I hate you:
Fact: You were born in the Panama Canal Zone, ergo NOT American. Yea.
Fact: You are OLD
Fact: You flip flop on immigration too much for my taste (my taste = apple pie)
Fact: If elected president, you want to hand out semi-automatic weapons like candy at a parade
Fact: Your wife kind of scares me
Fact: You are NOT Mitt Romney
I hope you were not offended by my list. Actually, no, I hope you were. Good Day,
Sincerely,
Concerned Citizen

In other political news.....

Hillary ran out of moneys. Hill, how are we supposed to get out of the ever looming recession if you can't even manage your campaign finances? Come on!

And in not so political news....
The final 3 will be revealed on Project Runway next week. I keep yelling at my television to Rami to stop draping every g*d damn garment he makes, but he still doesn't listen. If he makes it to Bryant Park, it's going to be a Greek/Roman empire extravaganza for the ages. I hope Christian makes it, so that he can introduce his collection as "The Fierce Collection". I hope Chris makes it to so we can see a collection of pure leopard print.

Super Tuesday.... Meh

So basically Super Tuesday led to... nothing. Dems r too close to call a nominee. McCain will undoubtedly get the Rep. nom. Why? I don't know. He's going to die before the election even gets under way. It befuddles me. We still have an exciting primary season ahead of us, kids! I <3 watching Mitt waste millions and millions of dollars of his own fortune on his inevitable trainwreck of a campaign, mostly because he looks like a SUPERHERO. Yessss.

In some not so political news.... Britney Spears' manager or someone confessed to drugging her and taking her out in public? What? What is going on? And why is this all over my (moms) television? These are the only things I want to see on tv right now:
1. Barack
2. Mitt
3. Milo
4. Puppy Bowl (every day)
5. Tom Brady crying
6. Anderson
7. Arrested Development, which I totally watched on G4 this morning because they show giant 4 hour blocks of it every Wednesday morning. Why? I don't know, but I like very much!

Nebraska, Washington and Louisiana are up on either Friday or Saturday for the Dems, and it's Louisiana and Kansas for the Reps. So that should be a good time. Oh, yea, and a bunch of tornadoes ripped through Tennessee last night. Not cool, mother nature.

Why Can't It Be Super Tuesday Already??

Heyy Reader (Jessica). So, I've been pretty emo today, getting down on myself b/c I have no direction in life. I have no idea what I am going to do. I keep trying to think of possible careers, and realize that I don't have any marketable skills. As such, I am making this list of my skills, which are all, oddly enough, unmarketable

Kendyl's (unmarketable) Skills:
1. Making the occasional funny
2. Scooping ice cream
3. Acquiring insane amounts of knowledge about television and movies
4. Drinking large quantities of coffee and holding my bladder for many hours after
5. Writing a 10 page paper the night before and getting a solid B
6. Spending money to help the economy in times of an ever looming recession
7. Filling printer paper (and nothing more!)
8. Communicating with the canine species
9. Facebooking
10. Making people think I am smart by using knowledge acquired on scripted television programs
11. Exercising
12. Deeming who should and should not have their face engraved on American money
13. Politely turning down dates
14. Making improper jokes at inappropriate times
15. Filling in crosswords with rediculous answers and then convincing people that they are correct
16. Rhyming
17. Always using my turn signal
18. Sleeping with my eyes open
19. Fixing peoples problems other than my own
20. Finding fun new ways to incorporate Baracks name into every day life
21. Making lists

STL Has Been Baracked - AGAIN

O yes, I went to see Barack last night. It was as magical as the time before, only there were 20,000 other people there, and it was close quarters, and awkward at times. It was at the dome, and they decided to make us all stand for 5 millions hours (5 million = 3) and pack us in like sardenes. There was a good mix of people - black, white, male, female, young, old. I'm sure puppies and kittens would have been there to see him but they weren't letting any in. Speaking of which, I want to watch the puppy bowl today. YES.

He talked about all of the lovely inspiration things he generally does - everyone will have health care, no more war, yadda yadda. He spent a lot more time talking about education, which I liked very much - mostly I liked when he talked about college students, obviously. He mentioned how each college student would get $4,000 toward tuition for so doing so much community service. I'm down with that. So that was a good time. Um.... that was about it. Hillary was here today, but nobody cares about that.

That's basically the latest political haps back here in the good ol US of A. More to come on Supah Tuesday!!